I’d tell all my friends but they’ll never believe that for a minute there, I lost myself in a town where folks make home movies and drill holes in themselves.
“Please could you stop the noise?” I ask “ I’m trying to get some rest,” but they’ll stop at nothing.
“This is what you get when you mess with us! When you shut the eyes of a local man who’s got the loneliest feeling,” these weird creatures speak out.
“Don’t get sentimental, idiot!” I cry out hysterical and…
“Why? Why don’t you remember? Why don’t you remember that I’ll be there either way you turn? I’ll be there! You know we’re friends ’til we die,” they shut me away on board their beautiful ship.
“…Useless” I finally breathe.
In this town, the smell of the warm summer air is floating, bouncing back… hanging around like a bug in the ground. It’s just business. A comfortable cage. A pig on antibiotics. I’m no longer afraid of the dark or midday shadows. Up above, from a great high, the panic, the vomit, the unborn chicken voices in my head twitch and drivel on ends.
“It’s enough! This is my final fit, my final bellyache. I’m no longer climbing up the walls.” they speak for us. No one else would guess that these weird creatures lock up their spirits, that if you get too far inside you’ll only see a reflection, and when it comes, it’s so, so disappointing.
Of all these weird, uptight creatures, this one buzzes like a fridge. Comfortable. Productive. Fond but not in love. Self-employed, tied to a stick like a cat. By my name he called me, like a ghost. That’s when I see sparks at a thousand feet per second.
“Hey idiot! Slow down. Where the hell are we going scrolling up and down in this town? in this country lane?” I talk like a detuned radio. “You can open your skull, blow your mind, rely on your vote… but I know where you are with. Hit the alarm. Wake from your sleep!” I bark at no one else but me.
Late at night when I’m drinking, tired and unhappy, I feel my luck can change, that in everlasting peace I am born again somewhere in an interstellar burst; that we will meet one day at a better pace, slower and more calculated; that we will be standing on the edge to save the universe… to save the universe! It’s gonna be a glorious day! but I keep forgetting that I’ve given all I can. Next time, when I go forwards, i’m going to grow wings and if you go backwards, I’ll take a quiet life. No surprises.
—
Cut-up from songs of “OK Computer” by Radiohead.
DA20150326
Delmy Alvarenga 